


Sirius has a boyyyyfrieeeeend

by turtles_to_the_max



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Sirius Black Being an Idiot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:07:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24493975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/turtles_to_the_max/pseuds/turtles_to_the_max
Summary: It's the September after Regulus' never-be-named-again-brother ran away, and Sirius has a boyfriend.And Sirius wants to make VERY sure that Regulus is aware of the fact.
Relationships: Regulus Black & Sirius Black, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 1
Kudos: 78





	Sirius has a boyyyyfrieeeeend

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in like half an hour so it's probably not very good, you've been warned

Regulus was trying to study, but his mind kept wandering. It was the first week of his fifth year at Hogwarts, and he had already gotten the lectures from all of the teachers about the looming OWLs ahead of them all. Regulus wasn't too worried - he was a decent student, after all - but he was still trying to keep up with the schoolwork dump from Monday. But he couldn't focus.

This summer had been exciting for the first two weeks, and then mind-numbingly dull. After a series of increasingly fiery arguments between Sirius and his parents, one night Sirius had run up to his room, emerged two hours later with a giant suitcase and his broomstick in tow, and announced that he was leaving. His parents had been all too eager to see him gone; Regulus had stared after his brother's retreating form into the darkness, and he hadn't seen Sirius since.

He put aside the book with a sigh; it was no use. Regulus wouldn't go as far as saying that he actually _missed_ Sirius, but it had been oddly lonely around the house with no one to annoy. He hadn't spotted him on the train, or at the Gryffindor table during breakfast, and, fine, he wanted his brother back. Of course, they had never really liked each other, and Sirius had always looked down on him, but was it too much to write once in a while?

Just as he was thinking it, Regulus noticed a disturbance near the entrance to the Slytherin common room: someone trying to force their way inside. _First-years - honestly_. Always forgetting the password. Well - Regulus smiled to himself - he _was_ a prefect this year, after all. All too glad of the distraction, he set his textbook aside and shoved his way through the crowd, already composing his speech about responsibility and Slytherin pride and whatnot.

He opened the door. It wasn't a first-year.

It was his brother.

Sirius' face broke into a grin. "Reggie!"

"Sirius," Regulus said coldly, glaring at his brother. It was what his mother would have wanted him to do - and really, did Sirius have to call him by his childhood nickname in front of everyone else? He had a reputation to keep up, after all. 

"Just the person I wanted!" Sirius said, putting Regulus in what probably looked like a brotherly embrace and felt more like a chokehold. "Come in!"

Regulus didn't even bother protesting that _he_ was already in, and Sirius had no business inviting Regulus into his own common room, just sighed and let Sirius steer him towards a chair. Sirius' hair was longer and darker than it had been when he left, and was that a _piercing_ in his ear? Regulus shook his head, wrenching himself free of his brother's grasp.

He sat back down in his chair, trying to piece his dignity back together. "So. Sirius. What do you want?"

"To talk to you!" Sirius said, bouncing up and down. "It's been a whole summer! I have exciting news!" 

"Yes?"

"Wellllll...." Sirius smirked. "There's someone I want you to meet, brother dear." He gestured to the doorway, and Regulus spotted another newcomer: tall, around Sirius' age, with light brown hair, freckles, and a long scar across his nose. And a Gryffindor tie. Of course. 

"Who is this?" 

"This, Reggie dear - " Regulus was suddenly reminded why he didn't like Sirius - "is Remus."

The boy gave Regulus a wave and an embarrassed smile. Regulus glared at him, too. 

"And what does he want here?"

"Regulus," Sirius said, smiling and shaking his head. "Regulus Arcturus Black. I would like to formally introduce you to Remus John Lupin, fellow Marauder, Gryffindor prefect, annnnnd..." He stretched out the pause for dramatic effect, grinning all the while. "My _boyfriend._ "

Regulus just stared at Sirius for a while.

"Your what now?"

"My boyfriend," Sirius repeated. "Here, scooch." Ignoring Regulus' protests, he squeezed himself in next to Regulus on the armchair, draping an arm over Regulus' shoulder. "Hear that? My boyfriend. I have a _boyfriiiiieeend...._ "

"But - wait - no," Regulus managed. "That's - that's wrong."

"No it's no-ot," Sirius said in a singsongy voice. "Because we're _dating_. Right, Remus?"

"Yes," the new boy confirmed with a sigh, looking as if he regretted the decision. "We are."

"But - you're a boy."

Sirius shrugged. "So?"

"So - you - you can't be dating another boy," Regulus sputtered. "It's - it's not right - "

"Does Mum say that?" Sirius said, putting his legs up on the table and his arms behind his head. "Did ickle wee Mumsie tell you two boys being in wuve was wong?"

"Well - no - maybe - but - it's supposed to be a boy - and a girl. That's just - that's just how it is - "

"Well, TOO BAD!" Sirius sat up abruptly, smirking. "Because I'm gay! Well, pan actually, but that's beside the point. I am gaaaayyy, and I - " he poked Regulus' shoulder with each word - "have - a - boyfriend."

"Um - "

"And there's nothing you can do about it!" Sirius giggled. "Just came here to let you know that. Hey, everyone!" He leapt up and climbed on the table, attracting a few stares from the onlookers. "I HAVE A BOYFRIEND!"

Regulus buried his face in his hands. Barging in and demanding to speak to him was enough as it was, but this was too much.

"Regulus is my brother, by the way." Sirius pointed, and Regulus' cheeks heated; he could feel the room's eyes on him. "Thank you!" He leapt down.

Regulus rolled his eyes, wondering to himself why he had ever wanted Sirius back.

"Sorry," a quiet voice said behind him; Regulus looked up to see the new boy grinning sheepishly at him. "Your brother insisted..."

"Anyways," Sirius' voice cut in, "how's your summer been?"

"Um, good - "

"Great!" Sirius stepped forwards and pinned Regulus in what was probably meant to be a hug. "See you around! Send Mum my love. If you don't see me, you can assume I'm up in my dorm having wild gay sex with Remus here - "

The boy turned scarlet. " _What?_ "

"Just kidding. I mean, for now. We'll see." Sirius grinned, letting go of Regulus. "Anyways, bye! Nice seeing ya, Reggie. And, by the way - " He was already halfway out of the room.

Regulus sighed. "What?"

"I HAVE A BOYFRIEND!"

The door slammed shut behind them.


End file.
